Promise Me
by Steele.Hearts33
Summary: A one shot submitted with the FSoG FanFic Obsessed group challenge. Dr. Christian Grey wanted only to heal patients the way his grandmother's dr couldn't heal her. Then one day he meets the shy preacher's daughter under the same tree he sat at with his grandmother during her treatments. Will serve as a prequal to new untitled story. No BDSM, No Elena background, & no touch issues


**A/N: This was written as part of the FSOG FanFic Obsessed group forbidden romance challenge. This starts as a Leila/Christian pairing fan fic that will serve as the prequel to the new story I'm starting next month. This will be the third story that I will be writing simultaneously with the Steele Heart Stories and A Submissive's Beginning. if you have a suggestion for a title on the new story let me know. It's gonna move in the lines of Grey's Anatomy. Queen Bee 03 guessed it when she was reviewing the challenge. Christian Grey is my McDreamy. New chapters of my other stories coming tonight and tomorrow.**

Today I'm going to be recognized for all my efforts over the last seven years. When I started this journey, I never thought this was where I would be. I'm 32, and I'm the best neurosurgeon on the west coast. I knew this is what I was meant to do before the end of my first year as an intern. My mother thought that I would follow in her footsteps, but my grandmother always knew I'd be a surgeon. It was a surgeon that saved her and gave me the few extra years I needed with her to get my focus and leave my rebellious teenage years behind. If not for the time spent with my grandmother during my mid-teenage years, who knows what might have become of me. I was rebellious and fighting, and stealing from dad's liquor cabinet. Then I was kicked out of my second high school at the age of 15. Dad sent me to Grandma and Grandpop's to clean their yard for the summer. Grandma fainted one afternoon while I was there alone with her. She had stopped breathing, and it was the 911 operator who talked me through how to perform CPR on her. The paramedics said I saved her life, but I think it was the surgeon that removed the tumor on her lung that saved her that summer. I will forever be grateful for the extra years I got with her.

Today, I am going to be awarded the most prestigious award a surgeon can achieve, the Mason Jackson award. Most surgeons work their whole life trying to win this award, but at the young age of 32, I will become the youngest winner in the award's 38-year history. I guess if you really want to know how I got here, then I need start at my intern year. My journey didn't begin until that spring day in the hospital courtyard.

 **May 12, 2010**

I'm exhausted. I've just spent the last six hours observing Dr. Preston hoping to hold a suction tube. I know it's only my second week of my internship, but it's like these doctors are punishing me for being an early Harvard graduate. I had my pick of the top six hospitals in the country, and I chose to come to Seattle General. You would think they would treat me a little kinder seeing as how my name brings them prestige. My mother is the head of the pediatrics department here, and the cancer ward is named after my Grandmother Adelaide Trevelyan. I don't want special treatment, I just want to learn and watching from a distance, and performing rectal exams is not going to teach me how to be a great surgeon. I want to cut, and I want to see my hands buried in someone's body. I want to be a healer, and I'm not being given a chance.

I'm here an hour before rounds every day, well before everyone else. I'm the last intern to leave, making sure my resident's charts are always up to date complete before leaving for the day. Yet, I'm the last one to be picked to scrub in on any procedure and the first assigned in the clinic. Thankfully tomorrow is pit day, and all the interns in my rotation get to spend the day in the pit of the emergency department. Maybe then I can at least stitch someone up. Mom has been teaching me basic stitches since I decided on being a surgeon my junior year at Harvard. I can sew 20 stitches into a banana in less than 5 minutes with my eyes closed now.

Grabbing a cup of coffee and a muffin from the breakfast cart near the waiting room, I decide to head to the courtyard for a little fresh air. I have to check on Mrs. Lipinski and get her vitals in an hour. I plan to take the break while I can. Walking toward the tree, I always sat at with Grandma under the big low hanging branch. When I circle the big trunk, I see the most gorgeous creature sitting on our bench that I must stop in my tracks to take in her beauty. She's small and petite. In a soft baby blue dress and a pale pink sweater. She's reading a book, I can't see from here what it is, and she's drinking from an actual juice box. After taking in her high cheekbones and small nose, I wait for her to lift her eyes. I'm struck dead. Warm bourbon eyes meet my cold gray ones. She smiles a small smile at me before offering a greeting. "Hello." Her voice is a soft melody on the gentle breeze washing over me.

"Hello. Do you mind if I sit with you? This bench is my favorite spot in the courtyard, and I was hoping to eat my breakfast here before heading back into work."

"Sure. Are you a doctor here?" She's watching me with genuine curiosity. I thought everyone in this town knew who I was. I'm the medical genius and one of the two infamous Grey Brothers.

"Yes, I'm a surgical intern. I just got out of a six-hour surgery and was looking for a bit of peace before reporting back for rounds."

I watch her face fall when she answers and starts to gather her stuff. "Oh, well, I'm sorry. I'll be on my way and let you be."

I quickly place my hand on her arm to stop her from leaving.

"No, please don't leave. I just meant peace from the pagers and residents constantly barking orders. Seeing you here is a bit refreshing." And I genuinely mean it.

"Okay then. I'm Leila." She offers me her small hand, and as I take it in mine, I notice how soft her skin is.

"Christian." I purposely don't give her my last name.

"What are you reading Leila?" I try to get a good look at the cover, but can't quite see it.

"A Walk to Remember by Nicholas Sparks. It's one of my favorites." Of course, a romance. Chick lit as my little sister Mia calls them.

"I've never read that book before. Not my type really. I'm more of a mystery and suspense kind of guy. Stephen King, James Patterson. Those are the guys I read."

"Nicholas Sparks is my favorite author, but I like Nora Roberts and JK Rowling as well. I'm a bit of a romantic and huge Harry Potter fan." It's cute to watch the light in her eyes as she talks about the different books and the strong and weak points of each. Before I know it, my hour is almost up.

Looking at my watch, I see the time and go to make my excuses, although I want to find excuses to see her again. "I have to get back Leila, or my resident will have my ass. It was wonderful talking to you." I start to run toward the hospital, tossing my coffee cup and muffin wrapper in the trash. I've entered the recovery ward just as I realized that I didn't get her phone number or find a way to talk to her again.

I spent every day for the next week walking to the courtyard on every break I could get trying to find her again. Then exactly one week later at almost the exact same time, there she was under our tree, drinking her juice box, reading a book and wearing the same sweater again. This time she seemed to have a denim dress on underneath.

"Hi, Leila. Can I sit with you again?" I try to be polite and hide my nervousness and eagerness as I round the bench.

"Christian! Yes, please join me. I wondered if I might get to see you today." She seems happy and just as eager as I was.

"Truth be told Leila, I've spent every day the past week looking for you out here. I've been beating myself up constantly for not getting your phone number before I ran back to work last week." I take a sip of my coffee as she pulls her phone out of her purse and asks for my number. I provide it to her and then feel my phone buzz with a message.

"There I just texted you so now you have my number. Now tell me about your week. Did you get to help with any interesting procedures?" I watch her lips suction around the straw of her juice box straw, and it hits me straight in the groin.

"I actually got to assist with an appendectomy yesterday. I was the first intern to get to assist in our rotation, and it was a great experience. I got to suture the patient back up when the procedure was done, and it was amazing." I can't help the smile as I talk about the surgery. Sure, it was just a routine appendix removal, but it was my first, and it was amazing.

She asks me about why I wanted to become a surgeon, and I spend the next 30 minutes telling her all about my Grandma Addie. She is the greatest woman to me next to my mother. My mom rescued me when I was four and adopted me and has never treated me as anything less than her biological son. I watch a little bit of sadness cross her eyes as I talk about my grandmother's cancer and how she finally succumbed two years ago. She got to see me walk across the stage at Harvard with my bachelor's degree, but she didn't get to live long enough to see me be a doctor. My valedictorian speech at our graduation was dedicated to her. I wouldn't be a doctor if it weren't for her.

"Your grandmother sounds like a wonderful woman Christian, I would have like to have met her." I watch her face and try to memorize every feature. Her long lashes, her pouty lip. Her oh so kissable lip.

"Tell me about your family, Leila. What are they like?"

She twists her hands in her lap and looks at her fingers before she answers me. "Well, it's just my dad and my three brothers and me. I'm the oldest, and my mother died when I was 11. It's been 10 years, but it never gets easier. I think it's harder on my brothers because they were all so little. Denny was only three when she died. Dad has never remarried, never even dated. Said he had already had his time with his life mate. He's a preacher at a small Baptist church over in Allentown in Tukwila. I'd like to say I'm the typical preacher's bad girl daughter, but I'm not. I'm the best girl when it comes to behavior. I've never disobeyed or disrespected my father. I'm the closest thing my brothers have to a mother, and I skipped college to stay home and help my dad with them. I spend two days a week for three hours a day at the church helping my dad with the programs for Sunday's service and correspondence and balancing the church's books. All things my mother use to do till she died."

I'm genuinely intrigued. I'd have never pegged her for a preacher's daughter, but then again, I've only seen her twice and each time she was in a skirt and sweater. She doesn't wear makeup or jewelry outside a small, thin ring on her index finger on her right hand. When I look into her eyes again, I see tears starting to pool. I quickly grasp her hand, fingering her small ring.

"Leila, what's wrong. You can tell me. I'd hope that after everything we've shared, we are at least friends."

"That's the thing, Christian. I can only be your friend. We can't be more. I want to spend all the time with you that I can, but it's not possible. We can't be anything more. I have so many other important things in my life. Promise me that you'll be my friend. Promise me that you won't fall in love with me. Promise me, Christian. I have to hear you say the words." And now her tears are starting to silently fall. I reach over to wipe one tear from her cheek, and she reaches for my hand and stops me. Her eyes pleading with me to say the words I don't want to say.

"Okay, Leila. I'll always be your friend." I don't want to say the rest because I think it might already be a little too late for that.

"No promise me Christian, promise me that you won't fall in love with me." I can't believe she's making me say this.

I have to grind out the words to please her. "I promise I won't fall in love with you Leila."

Her response is no more than a relieved whisper. "Thank you."

I hear her phone beep, and when she looks to it, she quickly wipes her tears away and transforms back into her prim and proper self. "I have to go. That was my dad. I'll talk to you later Christian. You have my number text me anytime. Calls may be difficult to answer with my dad and brothers around. If I don't talk to you before then, I'll see you the same time next week." And with that, she was gone.

I spent the entire week texting her every evening asking how her day was. She asked me a new question every day trying to get to know me. She's the first person I've ever really let get to know me really, outside my family anyway. I dated in high school and college, but with a touch phobia, it was a little difficult. I was 20 before I lost my virginity. I had spent years with my therapist working on the touch things, and I finally got to where I was okay if someone accidentally touched me over my shirt. To this day, I've still not let anyone touch my bare chest or my bare back. The few times I've gotten completely naked for sex, I either held the girl's hands or took her from behind. It's made relationships difficult, meaning I've not made it past a second night with a girl since.

I've gone over everything in my mind trying to figure out how I'm going to convince Leila to give me more. To allow me to fall in love with her. For the third week in a row, I meet her at our tree, and I'm not even on rotation today. I watch her walk up to the bench, and I hand her a juice box. They're the same kind they give to patients in the hospital, and I find it absolutely adorable that she drinks them. Today she's reading The Graduate. I can't hide the small chuckle. Little preacher's daughter reading about the affair of a man with the wife of his dad's business partner.

"Thank you," she says as she takes the proffered juice box. "How are you today Christian? I figured you'd be resting or at the research library getting every piece of info you could on Doctor Bradley's newest case."

This week we had an elderly woman come in with stage III liver cancer. None of her family is a match, and unless we can come up with a plan to remove the tumor completely, she'll likely die waiting for a transplant. "Mrs. Reynolds is holding strong for now. I'm due to meet a couple of the other interns in the research library in a couple hours to try and come up with a plan to present to Dr. Bradley at rounds tomorrow." I have an idea, but I need to know more, and I need as many brains to pick while I come up with said plan. This is the sort of thing that I became a surgeon for.

"So, Leila this is the third week I've met you here. You've yet to tell me why you are here each week." I watch as she looks to her hands knotted in her lap, her telltale sign that she's not comfortable in the conversation. "My dad and I have a standing weekly appointment." She offers nothing more than that. I guess her dad had Dialysis or therapy of some sort, though she never says.

We continue our weekly ritual of getting to know one another. It's like any other Wednesday we've had, but I'm reluctant to let it end. It's her phone beep that signals the end of our time together. "Let me take you to dinner or a movie this weekend. I have an actual Saturday evening free. Spend it with me please."

"I can't Christian. Remember, you promised not to fall in love with me. I can't go on a date with you." That hurts, but I've got to turn this around.

"Who said anything about a date? Don't you know friends get together on the weekend and hang out? Sometimes they eat and see movies. Other times they drag themselves from bar to bar getting drunk. What do you say? No romance. Just friends." Please don't let her say no this time.

"Fine. I'll hang out with you Saturday. Text me details later and don't get any ideas about picking me up. That's what dates do." She didn't say no. She didn't say no, I can't hide my smile.

"I'll text you, Leila. Till then." I give her a kiss on her cheek before she walks away and my breath catches in my chest when my lips met her skin. I've already broken my promise to her. I've done the forbidden and fallen in love with her. I have to convince her to change her mind. I've got three days to prepare.

I spent the afternoon in the library with my fellow interns. When we left, it was hard trying to get Bethany Walker to leave me alone. That woman is like a dog with a bone. She's been trying to attach herself to me since we started. She's even gone so far as to buddy up to my mother. Thankfully, my mom is respectful enough to not push me toward her.

"Hey Grey, how about a drink tonight. We rarely get these days off. You developed a solid plan to present to Bradley. We should celebrate." Yeah, that's right, it's my plan. Hopefully, it'll work. I can't stomach the idea of that poor woman living her life in a hospital bed waiting for a liver.

"No thanks, Beth. I've got plans to visit my Grandfather before turning in. Then I intend to get a night of uninterrupted sleep for the first time in a month." Hopefully, she gets the hint.

"Want someone to help put you to sleep?" Yeah, she's not getting it and the thought of anyone being with me makes my stomach turn. She strokes the lapel of my jacket, and I have to remove her hand.

"I'm good Beth. Thanks for the offer, but I don't think I'm ever going to want you to help me get to sleep." I'm trying to be nice to this girl, but she's a barracuda.

"You'll change your mind eventually. I'll get you in an on-call room sooner or later." With that, she flips her hair over her shoulder and walks away. I breathe a sigh of relief when she's out of my sight. I need to see Pops before Saturday. He'll know what I need to do to get Leila to fall in love with me.

I'm looking at my watch for what has to be the third time in the last five minutes. It's Saturday. My non-date day with Leila. Pops said to make it as relaxed as possible. That the romance would come naturally. He said that I needed to avoid the typical candlelight dinner and movie with the tried and true yawn and shoulder wrap. So instead we are having a picnic at the park and feeding the ducks. Then we are taking a walk along the pier and a ride on the Ferris wheel. Then I'm taking her to my favorite spot in the city to watch the stars. I'm not sure what time she plans to be home. I don't plan to keep her all night, nor do I want to get her into bed tonight. She's a lady, and I need to treat her with respect. I won't lie though, I plan to try and kiss her tonight. The minute I think she'll be receptive, I'm going for it. I want this, and I want it with her.

I asked her to meet me at the park at 6 pm at Lincoln Park. We'll have to take my car down to the pier afterward to walk around and ride the Ferris wheel. I'm standing at the edge of the parking lot I told her to meet me at when I see a small dark blue Nissan pull up to me. I can see Leila in the passenger seat. She leans over and kisses some guy on the cheek before exiting the car. She grabs a basket from the back seat before walking to me.

"Hi, Christian. I know you said you would take care of everything, but when you said picnic, I couldn't leave the house without a few of my favorites. I thought we could share." She looks so sweet. She's in a blue cotton dress with little white daisies all over and a braided leather belt. She's got her signature sweater as well. This time it's a long white cardigan as long as the skirt. Her feet are adorned with simple sandals with a strap around the ankle and one across the toes. Her hair is brushed back over her shoulders in simple waves. Not a bit of makeup and she is beauty personified. Her lack of makeup makes her look closer to 16 than her actual 21 years. I'm in love with this girl, and she doesn't even know it.

"Hey, beautiful. You ready." I go to grab the basket from her, but she pulls it back from my reach.

"Nah-huh. Remember non-date. You promised not to fall in love with me." Yes, I know, but it was already too late when I made that promise. "It's forbidden. I will carry my own basket and don't call me beautiful again. Too close to date language."

"Date language? Seriously, Leila. You are beautiful, and you should learn to take a compliment. It's going to be a long night if you can't." Hopefully, that worked in my favor instead.

"I'm sorry Chris. I want this to be a good evening, and I just don't want to disappoint you."

"Leila, you could only disappoint me if you stop spending time with me. It's only been three weeks, and already you are my best friend. You are the one I want to talk to at the end of each day. I want to share all of my milestones at work with you, and I want to just do whatever I can to make you smile. As long as you let me keep spending my time with you, then you'll never disappoint me."

There is some kind of look that comes across her face, but it's gone before I can decipher it. "Okay Christian. Let's just enjoy our evening."

"Something smells good. What did you bring in that basket with you?" I Take her free hand in mine and pick up my basket with my other hand. We walk to a small clearing with a nice view of the water. I lay out the food from my basket. Mom helped me get the food. I have turkey sandwiches, carrot and celery sticks, fruit salad, and chocolate chip cookies. I also brought a jug of sweet tea and two cups, plates and silverware sets each. She opens her basket and pulls out a Tupperware container full of fried chicken, another with homemade rolls, and sweet-smelling corn on the cob.

"Damn, woman. Here I thought I was doing good with the sandwiches and you completely show me up with the home cooked food. I was trying my best to not use the cook at my mom's house." This woman is amazing.

Her giggle is a delight, "It's nothing really. I cooked dinner for dad and brothers and just made us a little bit extra. My brother Greer wasn't too happy to have dinner time interrupted though. He's used to dinner being served right at six and instead it was earlier tonight. When he found why dinner was early tonight, he insisted on driving me. I'll have to call him for a ride home later tonight."

"I'll be happy to give you a ride home Leila." Please let me show you home, my plea silent.

"We'll see how the night goes. Remember, you promised." I'm going to forever regret this promise.

"Maybe we can revisit that later." And that's all I'll say anymore on the matter of the stupid promise.

We spend the meal eating our dinner and talking about our childhoods. She tells me about each of her brothers, Greer, who is 19 and just finished his freshman year at WSU, Frankie, who is 15, and Denny who just turned 14 last month. She tells me about her mother, the quintessential preacher's wife. A God-fearing woman, who knew how to put the fear of God and of her into her children. A woman that Leila looks up to most and misses dearly if the tears that she refuses to spill are anything to go by.

I tell her about how I came to live with the Greys and my adoption. I tell her about my big brother Elliot and little sister Mia, both adopted themselves. I tell her about my grandmother and how she became the reason for me becoming a doctor. She had thought it was because my mother was a doctor. When I spoke about my Grandma Addie's cancer, I saw the tears that once again threatened to spill from her eyes.

"My mom died of breast cancer. She was always so focused on everyone else that she never saw a doctor until it was too late." I watch her brush away a stray tear before she continues. "She was the greatest person, the greatest mother. Always doing something for someone else. I was only eleven, and I was so mad at God for taking her from me. It wasn't the first time I was mad at him, and it wasn't even the last. I've screamed at him over the years asking why and pleading for fairness. I've finally come to terms with it all though. Sometimes our journeys aren't meant to be long lasting. Sometimes we're meant to be here for a flash. To make a difference in the life of someone specific and once we've completed our journey, we're called home to rest." I get the feeling she's talking about more than her mother now. I catch the tear falling on her cheek and lift her chin to look her in the eyes.

"You've made a difference in my life already Leila." I know anything else wouldn't be welcome now, so I only placed a soft kiss on the crown of her hair.

"Thank you, Christian. That means a lot more to me than you realize." We continue to sit and eat our dinner as we watch the sunset. When the sun was finally beyond the horizon, we gathered our leftovers and headed back to my car. She didn't hesitate when I held my hand out to her, clasping as tightly to me as I was to her it seemed. Once safely ensconced in the car, we headed toward the pier and Seattle's Great Wheel. "21 years on this planet and I've never been on the wheel." She was genuinely excited.

"I was 12 the last time I went. My dad took Mia and me when Elliot was at a school dance, and mom was on call." I remember Mia bullying us into going. She usually gets her way in all things.

I quickly pay the fee for both of us, and soon we are on our way to the top, pausing here and there as more people get on and off the wheel. When we're are close to the top, she reaches over and takes my hand in hers and leans her head on my shoulder. "Christian?" Her voice is barely above a whisper.

"What is it, Angel?" I can't help the name as it slips out.

"Promise me, Christian." Please don't make me promise again. I send up a silent plea because I never want to deny her anything, but I can't promise not to love her again. "Say you'll promise me."

"What do you want me to promise you, Angel? I'll try to give you anything your heart desires." And I mean it anything but to not love her.

"Promise me that you'll forget what I said earlier about not falling in love with me. I need you to love me for as long as I can love you." She looks up at me, and I see the tears pooling in her eyes. I grasp both sides of her head in my large hands and kiss away the tears.

"I promise. I already love you. I broke my first promise, but it will be the only one I ever break. I love you, Leila." I start with a gentle kiss on her lips, made soft by her tears, and wrap an arm around her pulling her closer to me in the seat. "I promise Leila, I'll never stop loving you."

Leila and I spent the next month with each other nearly every chance we got. When we had the 'talk,' I was shocked, although I shouldn't have been. She'd spent the last ten years caring for others. She skipped college to stay home and help her dad and brothers, of course, she didn't have a social life. No social life meant she was a virgin. I wanted desperately to be her first and only. I wanted her to be my last. I was sure that she wanted to wait until marriage, and I was willing. Then she told me what she wanted to do for my birthday.

June 18th, 2010, will be a day I will never forget. I turned 26 and was given the most amazing and most precious gift in the world. I would have proposed that night if I didn't feel like she would say no because of the circumstances. I wish I had proposed that night. It would have been better than the proposal she got.

"Christian, I know what I want to do with you for your birthday. Your parents are having that big party for you on Saturday, the day after your birthday. I want to spend Friday night with you on your actual birthday." She sounded nervous and excited at the same time.

"What do you want to do Leila and what time will you need to be home?" She always wants to be home by midnight.

"Actually, I don't want to go home. I thought that I could spend the night with you and I want to spend it out on your boat. You keep telling me about this great boat your Pops got you for graduation and I want to spend the night on it. Just me, you, and the ocean." Shit, my dick is hard as stone. I don't know how I can spend the night with her and not make love to her. We've had several heavy petting sessions, she's even gotten braver in her strokes. Hell, the woman nearly made me cream my pants last night from all her stroking and grinding. "We can do anything that you want, Angel. I'll tell Mac we're going to be going out. He'll make sure everything is in order for us. I'll have to pick you up at about 4 though, so that we can get on the water and anchored before it's too dark." I also plan to romance the hell out of her. I won't push her to do anything she doesn't want to, but I can certainly do my best to seduce her. I need to check the expiration date on my condoms. The last box I bought was six months ago and I've not had sex with anyone other than my right hand in almost four months.

"That sounds wonderful Christian. I can't wait. It's going to be the most amazing night." That it will.

When Friday rolled around, we headed out to the boat and were quickly on our way. We anchored about a mile off the north shore of Bainbridge Island. "I have a few presents for you Christian." We were snuggled on the bench on the deck of the boat alone under the stars after having eaten dinner and watched the sunset together.

"You know Angel, you didn't need to get me anything. You being with me is enough. I love you, and the fact that you wanted to be alone with me means a lot." I place a soft kiss on her forehead, she likes those kisses the best she said once. They made her feel safe, protected and cared for, all three things I want to do for her.

"Well, I did get you a couple things." She reaches under the blanket and hands me a couple small packages. I open the top present, and it's a picture her brother took of us two weeks ago when we were at the aquarium together. Her father was supposed to take him, but someone in their parish needed her dad's help, so we took Denny for him. "Thank you, baby. I'll put it next to my bed at home."

I proceed to the next package. It seems heavier, but not as solid. I open to find a journal with a dark worn leather cover that wraps around the journal with a fine leather string to tie it closed. I open it up and find a message from her, and I'm in tears as I read it.

 _My Dearest Christian,_

 _I never thought I would meet someone as amazing as you on the same day my life would change irrevocably. You are the most amazing man I have ever met, and I can only love you harder as each day passes. I'm so glad that neither of us could keep that first promise. I am so happy that you fell in love with me._

 _I asked you to promise to love me fully every day for as long as I can love you and you've done just that. I love you so much. We talked about journeys once, and I'm convinced you were meant to be part of my journey. Thank you for being with me._

 _I know you're not the God-Fearing person that I am, but I feel the need to share one of my favorite Bible passages with you. I want you to know that when I think of this passage it's you and our love I think of. I love you._

 _'Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves. Love never fails.'_

 _1 Corinthians 13:4-8_

 _Don't ever let our love fail. Please make me one more promise. Promise that no matter what the future holds, you always remember our love as it is on this night._

 _Love Always, Leila_

"Promise me, Christian. I need another one. Promise me that you will always remember our love for what it is tonight." She sounds ominous, and I have no idea why. The pleading of her eyes and the tears that I see as she tries to hold it in, force the words out of my mouth.

"I promise, Angel. I'll always remember." I place kisses across her face, her eyes, her cheeks, her nose, her forehead before I reach her lips. She quickly turns the kiss into more, and soon I'm stretched out on top of her on the bench.

"I love you, Christian, take me to bed and make love to me please." I pull back and look into her eyes not sure I heard her right. I thought sure as the world we'd just be sleeping tonight.

I brush her hair behind her ear before I speak. "Are you sure Angel? I'll be man enough to admit I've thought of nothing else but making love to you for the last two months, but I don't want you to feel pressured or go against your beliefs."

"I'm sure Christian. For just this one night I want to forget about all my responsibilities and who I am outside of when I am with you. I want to be a woman in the most basic way a woman can be, with a man she loves. I know that it will be extraordinary. I love you so it can't be anything less."

Damn this woman always knows what to say. I pick her up and carry her bridal style down the stairs and to the sleeping berth. The queen bed is covered in a cream duvet with a couple of coral pillows adorned with blue flowers. I placed her on her feet at the end of the bed. She started with my shirt. We had spent the last two months working up to her being able to touch me. She's not touched my bare skin, yet, but I know she would never hurt me. The fear isn't there with her. She takes her time unbuttoning each button before she reaches the belt of my pants. I stop her and push my shirt off before undoing my pants myself. I push them off so that I'm standing in front of her in nothing but my blue boxers.

"Christian you're beautiful."

"My scars are hideous, Leila."

"No, they are beautiful; a testament to what you can overcome." She leans in and places a kiss to my scar, and I feel electrified. I need to get her undressed and get inside her.

I reach around her as I kiss her with all the passion I can muster. I slide the zipper of her silk floral dress down, and she takes a step back, letting the dress pool at her feet. She is now standing in front of me in nothing but white silk and lace. She is beautiful. Her skin is glowing. "Angel, you're the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen." I pick her up and place her on the bed. "You're sure this is what you want. You know you can say stop at any time, and I'll stop."

"I know Christian. I love you, and I trust you. You will make this wonderful."

She fists her hand in my hair and pulls me back for a searing kiss. When she opens her mouth to me, we are each fighting for dominance in the kiss. My tongue wrestles with hers trying to prove superiority. I win when she moans and melds her body to mine. I brush a hand over her breast and feel the goosebumps that dot her skin. She moans and mewls as I play with her nipple through the fabric.

"Take it off Christian, please. I want you to see all of me." Damn it.

"Angel, please let me take this at my pace. I want to savor this and worship you."

"Okay Christian. I love you."

"I love you to Leila."

I reach behind her and free her breast from the confines of her bra. "Baby you are so beautiful." My words are a whispered worship as I take a nipple in my mouth. She's so responsive and pleading for me to do something. "Please Christian. It feels like I'm on fire." I treat the other nipple to the same treatment before I move lower and remove her underwear. She's neat and trimmed, but not bare. I rub my nose along her mons, and she moans even louder pleading with me. "Please baby. Promise me you won't torture me much longer."

"I promise baby. I'm about to make you feel really good." I don't know what it is about the promises, but I love making them to her. And I love keeping them even more. I dive into her female lips. I start with soft kisses before I start sucking and nipping. I spread her apart with my fingers and attack her clit. I start with soft, slow flicks. When I start to add pressure, I insert one finger into her core. Fuck she's tight. "Baby you're squeezing me so tight. I need to stretch you out a bit. If it gets uncomfortable, you let me know. I love you, baby."

"I know you do Christian, but you promised not to torture me. Please, baby please." I love hearing her beg for her release. I go back to her clit, increasing the pressure even more as I add a second finger. She's trembling on the edge of erupting when I suck her clit into my mouth and suck hard. She's screaming when she flies over the edge. I lap up her juices as they flood my mouth. My fingers are gripped in her like a vice. When she starts to relax, I add a third finger, stretching her like I promised. I don't want her in any pain when I'm finally inside her. I continue my assault on her clit with my tongue as my fingers continue to move inside of her. I don't increase the pace as I bring her closer to the edge once again. Just before she detonates, I reach up and pinch a nipple, and she's screaming my name once again as she comes for the second time in five minutes.

I rear up over her and kiss her, letting her taste her arousal on me. "Are you ready Angel?" She's panting when she simply nods her head. I sit back and remove my boxers and grab the condom and roll on. She stops me when she sees what I'm doing.

"I've been on birth control since I was 14 to help with all sorts of stuff. I want to feel you Christian, skin to skin. I trust that you are clean. Please don't use the condom." Shit, this girl is perfect. I quickly remove the condom and toss it to the floor.

I line myself up with her and slowly insert myself inside her inch by inch when I reach her barrier. "Just do it, Christian. I'm ready."

I place a kiss on her forehead and whisper an apology before I pull out and shove back inside ripping through her innocence. "I love you, Angel." "I love you to Christian." I see tears starting to pool at the corners of her eyes and kiss them away. "You can move now."

I slowly pull out and then push back in. I continue to slowly rock in and out of her. She places her hands on my back, holding on, and I grab one leg behind the knee and lift it higher up over my hip giving me deeper access. Slowly we climb the mountain to euphoria, but I want it to last, and I don't want it without her. "Come with me, Leila. You're so beautiful when you come." I whisper to her until she reaches the peak and three thrusts later I'm following her over the ledge. I've never experienced an orgasm like that before, and she's the first woman I've ever taken skin to skin. "I love you, Leila. Thank you, my Angel."

We made love twice that night before we fell asleep in the wee hours of the night out on the water of the bay. When we woke the next morning, we ate breakfast before sailing back to the marina. Leila was feeling tired and excused herself for a nap about a half hour before we reached the docks. When we anchored once again, I went to wake her while Mac finished securing the boat.

"Leila, Angel. We're back. It's time to wake up. I need to take you home so you can see your brothers and dad for a few hours before we all go to mom and dad's for my birthday party tonight." She doesn't stir as I move into the room. In fact, she looks pale. Her breathing is shallow. Oh, my God.

"Leila, Leila wake up!" I'm shouting now and trying to shake her awake, but it's no use. I pick her up and race to the top of the deck.

"Mac! Mac! Call 911. She's not waking up."

The next 20 minutes was a blur I'll never forget. They wouldn't let me in the ambulance with her because I'm not related. I called her father as I hopped into my car and headed for Seattle Gen. I called my mother after him and asked her to meet me in the ER.

We had to wait for two hours before the doctors came out to talk to us. Bobby wouldn't talk to me much while we waited. Said I had to wait to hear it from Leila or the doctor. Leila had told him I was to have full access to her records if she was brought in. She even signed a medical power of attorney with my name on it. Why though? Why would she do that? She's such a young and healthy woman.

I didn't have to wait long when I saw Doctor Bradley come out with Doctor Peters. She needs surgery. Emergency surgery and I'm scrubbing in. There is a third doctor that looks familiar, but I'm not sure where I know her from. She's about my mother's age. When mom sees her, she lets a gasp slip, and I hear a whispered "Oh no, not Leila." Don't tell me my Angel is dead, please.

"Bobby," the unknown doctor greets him like they've known each other for ages. "I didn't think it would be this soon after her scans on Wednesday. But the tumor is encroaching on her windpipe. We're going to do another scan, but you should be prepared that its possible its spread more extensively into her lungs than we thought. Dr. Bradley is going to be performing the surgery to remove the tumor on her windpipe. The goal is to be able to do so without damaging her vocal chords. It's possible she may not be able to talk after this."

Dr. Bradley is going to remove a tumor from my Angel. She has cancer. I know the other doctor now. She's the one who diagnosed Grandma Addie's cancer the first time around. "Doctor Feldman, I wish I was seeing you under better circumstances. Dr. Bradley, I'm scrubbing in. I don't care if I'm only allowed to hold a retractor, you're not keeping me from that OR."

Dr. Bradley holds his hands up, "Actually, that's exactly what's about to happen. From my conversation with Dr. Feldman, I realize you have a personal relationship with the patient. I understand that she was never a patient of yours, but technically it is against hospital policy to have relationships with patients. If you go in that OR I will have you kicked out of the program. This is not a joke Dr. Grey. Talk to your mother. Let her tell you how serious this is. You've been carrying on a relationship with my patient for two months and not said a word. I gave you her scans last week to work a plan for her tumor resection, and you said nothing."

"What?" I feel like I've been punched. "She's patient 263?"

"Yes, and stop acting like you didn't know." Dr. Bradley is getting agitated, but I really didn't know.

"Dr. Bradley, Dr. Feldman, I really didn't know she was sick. I thought she was visiting each week while her dad was being seen. I had no idea. Dr. Bradley, I'll stay outside the OR, but you can't keep me from the gallery. I need to watch. I love that woman, and I feel helpless here. Cases like hers are why I became a surgeon."

"Christian, honey, I think it's better you stay out here with her family. I'll call home and tell Mia to call all the guests and cancel the party. You need to be here with her."

I break down when I realize what is happening. My Angel is dying. The cancer ravaging her body has started to spread to her brain. She has two small lesions we were trying to find a way to remove without affecting her short-term memory. The tumors in her lungs won't get any better. Her best hope is for a lung transplant. The tumor on her liver is easily fixed. Her liver will regenerate. Her ovaries have already been removed when she was 14. Her cancer first presented as ovarian cancer.

I collapse on the floor crying. Everything makes so much sense now. All the promises.

"Promise me you won't fall in love with me."

"Promise me you'll love me as long as I love you."

"Promise me that you'll always remember our love for what it is tonight."

Dammit. She knew. She knew she was going to die on me. She knew she was going to be leaving me. Why didn't I ask her to marry me? I look at Bobby silently crying on his own. My mother helps me from the floor, and I walk to him and kneel in front of him.

"I didn't know Mr. Williams. She never told me. You have to believe me. I wouldn't have kept her out all night if I knew." He's shaking his head at me now.

"That's exactly why she didn't tell you. I'm not an idiot, I know what happened last night. I am a man of the cloth, but she wanted that one night. She wanted to be a woman and not a patient. That's why she never told you. You weren't meant to know till something like this happened. I'm happy she found you though. You've made the last few months bearable for her. She always spends that hour after the chemo sitting under that tree with you then goes home to her silent suffering. She's taken care of all of us over the years. Even when she was battling cancer the first time. That was a simple one. The doctors just had to remove the ovaries, and she went through a round of radiation, and she was good as new. This one though. It started in her breast and spread quickly. The day she met you she'd been given six months. All we could do anymore was make her comfortable. Make her suffering less painful. But you've helped her more than modern medicine. She'll make it through this and then she will go home. She won't want to be in the hospital." His hand clasped to my shoulder the entire time he talks and he tightens as he continues his monologue. "She loves you, I can see clear as day that she loves you. This is going to be just as painful for you, but I have to beg you to stay with her until the end. Please don't break my baby's heart."

"Mr. Williams, I would marry her tomorrow if she'll have me. She's changed my life as much as I've changed hers. Please. I'm asking your permission. As soon as she's able to walk down the aisle, I want to marry her. I want you to marry us. I know it's something she's always dreamed about, she told me so the second week we met under the tree. I think I knew I loved her then, even when she made me promise to not fall in love with her. I couldn't help it. I swear that's the only promise to her I've ever broken. I won't fail her."

"Son, I would be honored to marry the two of you. You've got to get her to agree first, and that means that we have to make it through this surgery first."

Now I just need to visit Pops to get Grandma's ring. He said that I could have it when I found the right girl. I may only have a few months left with her, but she's the one.

Two days later, Leila was removed from the vents. She could breathe on her own. The tumor was completely removed from her windpipe, and there was minimal scarring to her vocal chords. Her voice was a little husky now, but that just made her sexier. Pops gave me Grandma Addie's ring yesterday. Told me he was proud of me. My mother put me in for two weeks leave so that we can plan the wedding. It's going to be held at her father's church, the one he married her mother in. Her father had her mother's wedding dress cleaned for her, and I know that she will want to wear it. Mia helped with the flowers and cake. Simple yellow and white daisies wrapped with a gold ribbon. The cake is three layers, and each layer looks like a basket weave and is topped with white and yellow daisies. We only invited about 50 people. Only close family and friends. Elliot will be my best man, and Denny will be her Man of Honor. Now I just have to get her to agree.

I'm in bed beside her reading her one of her favorites, Dear John, another Nicholas Sparks book. When their characters start talking about being together forever, I decide now is the time. I place the book marker in the book and set it aside. My arm wraps around her, and I tug her closer. I use my other hand to grasp her chin between my thumb and forefinger.

"Angel."

"Yes, Christian, my love."

"Marry me. Let me be your husband for as long as I can." I whisper the words as I try to hide the emotion begging for release. I refuse to cry in front of her.

"Yes, Christian I'll marry you. I've been waiting for you to ask. But I need one more promise from you before we say I do."

"Anything Angel. You can have anything your heart desires." I will forever regret those words; this next promise is the one that broke my heart.

"Promise me that you love after I'm gone. Promise me that you won't mourn me forever like my father. Promise me that you'll find someone new and have a family with her. Grow old together. Promise me, please. Tell me you love me and that you understand. Promise me that you won't stop loving."

I can't hide the tears anymore. I know what she wants, but I'm not sure I can keep this promise. I will try, as much as it breaks my heart. I will one day try and love again. "I promise, Angel. I promise. Now marry me."

"Tell me when and I'll be there."

I wipe my tears as a smile spreads across my face. "You have five days. Dr. Bradley says you refused the brain surgery, so you're discharged tomorrow. We're getting married on Saturday." I bring the ring from my pocket and slip it onto her finger. It's an antique platinum ring in with a center stone only a half caret. It was my grandmother's and that makes it the most perfect ring.

"Christian this is too much. I'll wear this ring for now, but promise me that you'll get me a plain solid band. You should keep this ring so that you can pass it onto your children. I know from the stories you've told me that this must be your grandmother's ring." My heart broke a little more. She makes too much sense.

"Okay, I'll get you a plain ring as you want. I love you and whatever you want is what you get."

On Saturday, we were married. Her long-sleeved lace gown was perfect and befitting of my Angel. When we said I do, we recited the traditional vows. We pledged to love one another in front of our closest family and friends with her father's blessing. We spent our wedding night aboard the Grace once again making love on the deck under the stars. The next day returning to her father's home.

We stayed with him in her childhood bedroom. I took a leave of absence from the program to care for her. She wrote letters to everyone, Denny especially. Letters to read upon graduations and birthdays and other life milestones. She wrote letters to me, and even a letter to my future wife. I cried and drank a couple beers with Bobby after that one.

Summer slipped into fall, and she fell more and more ill. Till two days before our three-month anniversary, she didn't wake up. Friday, October 29th, 2010. Leila Marie Williams passed away in her home, in our bed, in her sleep.

I grieved for a couple weeks before returning to the program. It was ultimately the brain tumors that took her from us, and I wanted to stop that from happening to anyone else again.

So here I am today. I am about to be rewarded because I found a cure for the brain tumor that killed my wife, six years too late. The hospital wanted to call it the Grey method, but I named it the LeWill Method. Here I am seven years after my wife's death sitting at a dinner with a bunch of other doctors I don't like, and a bunch of new doctors I've yet to meet. My new surgical interns start tomorrow. I hate interns. I hated them when I was one, and I hate them even more now. I'm going to Sam's for a drink after this. This cheap wine is doing nothing for me.

Sitting in Sam's Bar, I see a leggy brunette walk up to the bar and order a tequila from Sam. "Straight, no chaser. And get me some salt."

I give her second look and realize she looks so much like my Leila it's unreal. I feel a stirring I've not felt in years. I remember my last promise to Leila. "Promise me you'll try to love again." I've not even looked at another woman since, but this one I could look at again and again. She catches me eyeing her, and she turns to me and introduces herself.

"Hi, I'm Ana, Anastasia Steele."


End file.
